


Nook worms

by Mushr00mparty



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Bulges and Nooks (Homestuck), Cursed, M/M, Nook Eating (Homestuck), Nook Fingering (Homestuck), Oral Sex, Worms, crackfic, please do not read this, this could have been cute if it wasnt so fucking nasty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:08:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26160868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mushr00mparty/pseuds/Mushr00mparty
Summary: your name is KARKAT VANTAS and you have a big problem.It started a few days ago. You thought it was nothing to be worried about but it has only gotten worse. Eventually, you decided to go ask your most trusted friend, Dave Strider.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas
Kudos: 35





	Nook worms

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS !! I MADE IT AS A JOKE

your name is KARKAT VANTAS and you have a big problem. 

It started a few days ago. You thought it was nothing to be worried about but it has only gotten worse. Eventually, you decided to go ask your most trusted friend, Dave Strider.

You go to his apartment and he lets you in without question. His bro was out for the day so it was just the two of you, thank gog. you are sitting in his couch when you tell him.  
-  
-  
-  
your name is KARKAT VANTAS and your nook is burning like hell.

"huh?"  
You squirm a little, Dave had the exact reaction you expected but now you were starting to have second thoughts about this. A human male wouldn't understand, nor would they know how to help. Unfortunately, now its too late. He already knows.   
"i-its not like burning burning but,, it just itches,,, like a lot" nice one kk! im sure that makes this situation a whole lot better!  
Dark just stands there with his usual deadpan face before sighing,   
"do you want help?"  
"obviously dipshit! but obviously there arnt any doctors on earth who can!" he yell, frustrated and embarrassed.  
"alright then, take off your pants"  
what,,,what???  
Did your best friend and your longtime secret flush crush just ask you to take off your fucking pants? Right in the middle of his hiv?  
Calm down kk, maybe this is normal for humans,,,maybe he knows how to help you,,  
It still doesn't feel like a normal thing but you ignore it and unbutton your jeans. You hesitate for a moment before pulling your pants and boxers off in one swift motion and toss them to the side. You shudder at the feeling of cold air against your privates and you cross you legs for your own dignity.  
Dave is having none of that and walks over to where you are sitting on the couch. He gently puts his hands on your thighs, silently asking you to open your legs. you begrudgingly do, covering your face in embarrassment (and so he doesnt see that your face is bright red).   
"relax dude, I'm just tryin to see what the problem is" Dave says in his usual monotone voice. You listen and let him do what he needs to, still looking away to avoid making this any more awkward.

You suddenly gasp and let out a strange noise when you feel a finger probe at your nook. you look down and see dave holding your nook wide open with only two fingers. It takes all of your dignity and willpower not to moan like a wild barkbeast in heat. Strider simply slid his sunglasses up to the top of his head and peered into your hole. 

You whine when he pulls his fingers away and sits back.  
"Looks like you got a few party animals up there Kar. i'd say you have about 6 of those little buggers up there" Dave jokes. Your face somehow gets even redder. gogdammit you knew exactly what that meant.   
-  
-  
-  
your name is KARKAT VANTAS and you have nookworms.

"So how do you plan on gettin rid of em?" dave asks like he didnt just finger his best friend.  
"gog, i dont even know. there is no way i can go to a fucking doctor! those dumbass humans wouldnt even know what nookworms are." you mumble mostly to yourself.   
"nookworms you say?" dave raised an eyebrow, "i might know a way to get those little fuckers out of you. if youre up for it of course"   
Hell yeah, you were up for anything as long as you didn't have to deal with these parasites anymore.  
"do whatever you need to do, im fucking sick of this bullshit" you say almost too eagerly. Dave shrugs,  
"alright man, just a sec" he says before getting up and heading over to his kitchen. He return a little later with a cup, most likely to put the worms in.

"bro, just relax" dave pushed your legs open again. You focused on keeping your breath even as dave slid one of his fingers into your nook. He looked focused as he curled his finger, trying to feel around for the parasites. He wasnt even distracted by your excessive whining and completely unsheathed bulge. Soon he pushed a second finger in,feeling up and down your walls until they finally catching one of the worms. Dave pulled it out painfully slow so he wouldn't loose his grip. you can feel the parasite squirming as Dave yanks on it and you have to cover your mouth to muffle a moan.

"gottem" dave drops the worm into the cup and holds it up for both of you to see. It squirms helplessly as Dave shakes it around, "You're a mother KK"  
you roll your eyes "I never understood human reproduction, besides that thing is fucking disgusting"  
"I think he's kinda cute" Dave stares at the worm "I think I'm gonna call him Wiggles"  
"Dont fucking name it! We are not keeping them!!!" you growl  
Dave gasps "Dont you dare say that in front of Wiggles!!"  
You stare at him with disbelief. You cant tell if he's being ironic or not.   
"whatever I still have 5 more we gotta deal with"

Dave nods and moves back down to your nook. You expect him to use his fingers again so you gasp when you feel something warm and wet. You look down and see Dave using his mouth. You cover your face in embarrassment but end up peaking through your fingers. You feel Dave's tongue inside of you and you instinctively grip his hair to pull him deeper. Dave licks your walls until he is able to slurp up another worm. He pulls his head back and spits it into the cup, along with some of your genetic material. You whine desperately at the lack of stimulation. 

It doesn't take long for Dave to be back at your nook. He licks up the material dripping out of your hole before penetrating you with his tongue once again. Dave shoves his tongue in as deep as he can while you mewl and squirm. He hits an especially sensitive spot, which causes you to buckle your hips for more friction. His tongue brushes against the same spot a few more times before you're practically trembling, "D-Dave,, ha, I-I'm about- ah!!" you end up cumming all over his hair and face. The force is powerful enough to push another worm out. Dave pulls back and licks some of your genetic material from his lips,   
"glad you're enjoying this Karkat but you still have 3 more little dudes in you" he jokes before adding the worm to his collection.  
you whine and cover your face   
"i-i know im sorry"   
"hey dont worry about it. Now they're probably a little looser now" He said nonchalantly. Right after he finished talking, another slid right out of your nook. Dave quickly scooped it up and plopped it in the cup with the others,  
"correction, you have 2 little dudes in you" gog how was he so unbothered by all of this? any normal human would be vomiting at the sight but it almost seemed as if dave was, dare i say, enjoying it. I mean, why else would he be gripping his own human bulge like that?

He ducked back down to your open hole and started sucking at it. You cover your face to hide your blush. You instinctually wrap your legs around Dave's head to pull him deeper. he doesn't seem to mind, he just continues sucking at your over sensitive nook. The blonde gives you one last hard suck. You practically scream as you feel the last two worms being slurped out of you. Dave spits the last of your parasites into the cup. 

Youre panting hard, mind still fogged up by hormones. You almost don't notice Dave's soft moaning from the floor, almost. You look down and see him loosely jacking himself off. His face is bright red and you can see his eyes are shut tight. For a second you you consider just watching him, but you did owe him,  
"Hey fuckass, get up here". The Strider looked surprised, though you didnt know if it was because he forgot you were there or if it was because your offer was so unexpected.

Dave scrambles up to the couch and leans back against the arm rest. You take this time to admire his human anatomy. His bulge was a lot stiffer then yours. It was sticking straight up and it didn't even move on its own. You lean over and lick the tip, which makes his breath hitch.  
You take this as a sign to keep going. You lick up the side a few times before taking it into your mouth. You can hear Dave gasp and muffle a moan with his hands. You duck your head down as deep as you can go until you can feel it in the back of your throat. You begin to suck and bob your head, which is able to coax a few more mesmerizing noises out of Dave. His hands ball up in your hair as he begins to lead you. You hear his breathing speed up as he struggles to gasp out a half assed warning. He yanks you down one last time before cumming. You feel a thick warm substance dribble down the back of your throat and you swallow it down easily. 

When you pull back you see Dave staring at you with half lidded eyes and a flushed face. You lean up and kiss his softly before wrapping your arms around him and laying your head on his chest. He doesnt say much, instead he gently pets your head. You feel yourself start to doze off when you hear the apartment door unlock. Both you and dave instinctively look up and see Daves older brother open the door. Your face gets even redder as you see him stare at both of you from beneath his glasses as if he's trying to comprehend what is happening. There is a horrible moment of silence that feels like 100 sweeps before Bro walks over to the counter and drops a few bags of groceries.   
"Use protection" is all he says before slipping out of the apparent once again. You groan and hide your face in Daves chest, but he seems to be unfazed,  
"Dude dont worry about Bro, ive walked in on him doing way worse" Dave tries to reassure you.  
"That does not make me feel any better" you grumble. Dave only laughs which makes you smile. You both end up dozing off. Maybe this wasnt as bad as you thought it would be.


End file.
